I recently went on a Facebook hiatus. It was necessary. I spent five or more years dodging bullets from keyboard warriors across the globe. I realized I was no longer responding, but reacting. I think, at some point, I became so entirely exhausted that I did not have the energy to step back and see how it was all affecting me or how I was contributing to the problem. I liken it to putting a band-aid on a wound, and I kept tearing off the band-aid before I was completely healed. The wound just kept getting more sore and angry.
I had put myself out to the public so much that I lost who I was completely. I took on other people's opinions and beliefs and questioned my own. I began blaming everyone else for this too. Make no mistake, this is not a one-sided story. The opinions, beliefs, projections and words of others impacted me in such a horrible way. Yet I do understand without a doubt that this is a two-way street and I did not do my best to uphold my own integrity. I wanted to play "nice" with everyone and this, I believe, is where the virus began to fester. I am an idealist. I always thought everyone had the best intentions and that deep down, those who were rude to me were really hurting inside and that I had to forgive them and send them love. What kind of spiritual person would I be if I lashed out or corrected someone when they were clearly in their own wounding and coming from that place? What I did not see or understand is that they were bringing out my own wounding in me too. So I guess I should thank them for the lessons.
I don't think there is any secret that I do hold some contempt for false and toxic spiritual beliefs and I see now how some of these beliefs absolutely contributed to my overwhelm. I will continue to practice in integrity. I will continue to send love to those who are clearly hurting or don't know any better. This includes myself. I am not perfect and I never claimed to be. Yet this time around, I am letting people know when they hurt me. I will call people out when they are being inappropriate. I will delete people even if I think it will cause a riff with others. I have shown people how they are able to treat me by my actions -- and my actions were telling them that they could step all over me. I confess that I have some fear about my new boundaries. Some people are not going to like the new version of me. Then I realized that this will most likely be the group of people that have taken advantage of my niceness. I can stand to lose them. It will be okay.
So I made a "Declaration of Independence for Angie" and here it goes:
People who will not make it long on my new wall:
1. People who direct/private message me through Messenger to complain about something I post.
These will be the first to go – hands down. Keep your thoughts to yourself. If you don’t like something, please just scroll by and resist the urge to contact me to insert your own negative comments. I always welcome healthy debate, but too many times, the way people word things, they don't even realize just how condescending they are being. I can disagree with you and still respect you and your views. Please do the same for me. I don't need everyone's two cents because at the end of the day, I'd end up with enough to buy my dreams.
2. People who will only comment to say something negative. If you can’t be with me through my good moments, you have no say in the bad either.
3. Those who are CONSISTENLY triggered by what I post. Since you won’t leave, I will give you the courtesy of removing you myself. This goes out to those of you (and you know who you are and exactly what you are doing) that will read a post and create your own post two seconds later in direct opposition to what I just said because … well, I most likely triggered you in some sort of way. I agree to not do the same back to you. This doesn’t mean people always have to agree with me. This just means that those of you that do this REPEATEDLY are not here to support me at all. Why SHOULD I keep you around? You are just here to snoop around and see what I’ll post next. I refuse to give you one more ounce of my thoughts or energy.
4. Those that have a problem with the fact that I don’t have my real photo on my Facebook account. I’m tired of hearing it. Get over yourself. It’s silly. There is a reason why I do this. I converse in a lot of groups and it keeps away the crazies and pervs. Besides, you know who I am and know what I look like. If you don’t, does it matter? Not to mention I have photos in my bio and I do videos all the time. This is just more anal-retentive projection that I just don't have the time to discuss anymore.
5. Grammar Nazis – Guess what? I don’t care. I was a secondary English major. Sometimes I purposely use improper language just to show that you don’t have to be perfect all the time. ;)
6. Makeup Nazis - Please don't even THINK about reaching out to me to tell me that I didn't have enough makeup on for my last video or that I looked pale or sick. Yes, this happened -- quite a bit. One, I don't care. Two, I was born a redhead. I'm pale. Three, I am not doing these videos for a beauty blog. You are missing the point.
7. Rude/extreme polititians, religious zealots and vegans who cannot accept that other people have different opinions, beliefs and points of view. You came to the wrong place by friending me as I have no interest in supporting any of those behaviors.
8. Askholes– People who are always asking me for help, but refuse to schedule a real service with me. I love helping people. I truly do. But there comes a time where energy and time are taken advantage of. I have spent HOURS with certain individuals when I add all of our conversations up in total. Not to mention, askholes will ask for help and rarely follow it anyway. I will not be here to pick up the pieces when you fall down again by wasting more time giving you advice that you will never follow anyway.